The Train Ride

"If my lifespan is a house, then I am quite convinced I am 'stuck' in one of the hallways."

That's how an email from a dear sister started yesterday. (I say sister - we've never met yet this dear lady has been such an encouragement via email that it feels as though we must be sisters of the heart). Amie's statement got me thinking.....I don't feel so much that my lifespan is a house but maybe rather a train journey. I like to travel by train. It's nice because you can see the areas you're passing thru and someone else is responsible for getting you there. As I think about this metaphor, I can see it passing before my eyes.

I have stopped at various stations along the way. The growing up in a family of six station, the graduating and moving out of my home station, the working and going to college station, the Africa station, the medical school station. Some stations, I have passed by...marriage and children, career, home ownership, to name a few. Some are easier to pass by than others. Some have required long periods of mourning for dreams that did not come true. Some might still be coming.

God has blessed me on my "train ride". I have had so many friends travel with me on this trip. Some have come and gone - departing at different stations. Some ride with me for a while, then depart, then return and ride for a while longer. I think of those who rode with me thru Tanzania and Kenya. Those who travelled to Israel with me. Those who stuck with me on the ride thru medical school, who continue to ride with me as I search for the "residency" station.

The thing about this train though, is I'm not the conductor. I have no control over what stations we stop at and which stations we pass by. That can be a scary feeling and a peaceful feeling at the same time. I know that my "Conductor" is much better able than I to guide this train. I know that He has a plan and that He knows the end destination of my train. I also know that I can trust Him to get me to the best station. There are times I get impatient and try to get to the engine room and drive the train myself. Lately I feel like I've been "stuck" at this station of working at the local hospital for too long. I want to get back on the train and get it moving on to residency. I ask myself sometimes, what if I went to medical school only to never get a residency? Well, what if I did. It's not the end of the world and it won't be the end of the train ride either. I sometimes feel like I will be disappointing people but then I'm reminded that I'm not driving my train - God is! So, whatever the "next station" may be, or if there is no "next station", I can trust that this is the best place for me, and any who are disappointed will just have to have their own conversation with my Conductor. :)

I want to thank those of you who have been "riding this train" with me. It hasn't always been easy but having you there with me my faithful friends has made the journey so much better. Thank you for helping me to carry my luggage, for helping me find a comfortable spot to wait, for helping me to grow as I wait and watch on the journey. You have blessed me beyond words.